What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
