i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
