I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
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