she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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