dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
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