just tell him i said nine months
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
