Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize