Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Randomize
