you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
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