Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
