She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
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