Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
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