She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
