..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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