Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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