Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Randomize
