I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
