he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
