I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize