Porn is love you can see.
I can tuck mytits in my pants
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Randomize
