I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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