her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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