wakey wakey hands off snakey
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
You're like the curious george of whores
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize