birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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