I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize