Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
