i just google imaged poop.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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