hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Randomize
