I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
