i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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