I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
My ATM looks so different sober.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Randomize
