You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
