I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
