Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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