you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
