She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
