I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
