The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
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