I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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