I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
