I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
