you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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