i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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