i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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