I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Randomize
