I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I am one with the molecules
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
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