Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Randomize
