Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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