its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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