Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
