Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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