did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Randomize
