I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
