He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Text me some of your sweat
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
