The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
