Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
