I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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