In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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