plz talk dirty to me
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Randomize
