I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
