he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
