'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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