Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Randomize
