It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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