we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
