im having a threesome with these popsicles
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
