Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
There are leaves in my underwear?
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